Divorce Transitions

Your marriage wasn’t supposed to end up this way.

Whether there was a major falling out or you simply grew apart, your marriage is over.

You may have been shocked when your spouse wanted a divorce, or maybe it was you who decided to leave your marriage.

Regardless of how your marriage ended, you are grieving.

Guilt and regret consume you as you wonder what could have happened for it not to end like this.

It’s hard to sleep, wondering if you’ll be alone for the rest of your life.

Your support circle has shifted, and some of your common friends have drifted away, either “choosing sides” or avoiding you because they don’t know how to act.

Food is either utterly repulsive or the place you lose yourself, so you don’t have to think.

And then… there are your children.

Your children are confused and grieving the loss of the marriage, too. That’s true even if your kids are grown.

And if they’re younger, they probably struggle to process the new family dynamic. If you share custody with your ex, you may spend nights away from your children for the first time.

You see changes in your kids’ behavior and wonder how damaged they are (how damaged you all are) from this family rupture.

You can’t imagine ever having a normal, happy day again.

The grief and loss are real, and it’s hard to work through them.

Trying to move forward before you’ve processed your loss is like wading through mud.

Sometimes, there is shame to work through. Maybe you had an affair (emotional or physical) and lost focus on your marriage. You may have been cheated on and are consumed with rage and feelings of betrayal.

You might be battling with self-judgment, thinking if you had been thinner or sexier, or a better person, none of this would have happened.

For most, your every thought is clouded by either an overwhelming sense of ambiguous loss, a quiet sense of relief, or some combination of the two.

You’re going to have to put the past behind you and change.

But I’m here to help. You’re not alone in this.

I don’t believe in a “one size fits all” treatment, so I use an eclectic approach to help those going through the transitions of divorce.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one of several interventions that address the many emotions that sometimes seem to conflict. You may be angry but still have love for your former partner. We will address all of the feelings that come up as you process the loss of your relationship through role-playing activities.

A psychoanalytic approach gives insight into your relationship patterns. How did you and your partner end up together? Why do you choose the people you choose to be in your life? What might new relationships look like as you move forward?

Journaling with the assistance of narrative therapy can also help start a “new chapter” in your life.

Divorce is hard, but therapy can make it easier.

You can embrace your “new normal.”

“New normal” – aka, “This sucks, but it’s not forever.”

Reach out to schedule your free 20-minute consultation so that I can answer any questions you might have about what our work together would look like. And if I’m not the best person to help you, I’ll happily refer you to one of my colleagues.

Make today the day you start over.

Call now: (720) 797-9828.