You never knew what tired was until you had a baby.
As much as you want to enjoy every moment, you are just trying to survive the day-to-day struggles of being a mom.
You’re feeding the baby, feeding your family, and somewhere in there, you’re trying to feed yourself.
The house is a disaster, you can’t remember the last time you took a shower, and all you want to do is sleep.
Imagining a day where you feel relaxed and enjoy being with your baby feels impossible.
Having a baby may have brought up other things, too.
It might be creating fractures in your marriage. Your partner tries to help (or doesn’t or doesn’t know how), but it falls short. Rubbing your shoulders used to relax you, but you’re already touched out and wonder if it’s just an awkward invitation to sex. Sex, something you used to enjoy, is the last thing on your mind.
Or perhaps this time is a harsh reminder of your challenges with your own mother.
And you might even doubt yourself – whether you’re “doing it right” or “cut out for this.”
Exhausted, your brain crafts intrusive thoughts: “What if I slip and fall while holding the baby?”
Or when you’re overwhelmed by anger, you get a pang of gut-wrenching shame: “What kind of a mom feels rage?”
The truth is… YOU don’t even know what you need.
The soft, white, flowy-gowned portrait of motherhood is a myth.
The reality is sweaty, dirty, noisy, and endlessly demanding.
It can also be joyful, funny, and fulfilling.
The hardest days of motherhood can be very dark. Wearing the same clothes you wore the day before with your hair in a knot, you cry. Sometimes you and the baby cry together.
You feel like a failure because other people seem to be doing just fine.
But there are good days. Your baby’s smile is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Inhaling the sweet scent of your baby’s head, you kiss them and feel warmth in your heart. You gaze into each other’s eyes, having a mom and baby love-fest.
Every mom has a hard day once in a while, but when the dark days overwhelm days of light, it’s time to ask for help.
You are not alone. I’m here to help.
In addition to being a therapist, I’m a mom of three and passionate about supporting new mothers.
How I wish I had asked for help after I had my first baby!
Everyone experiences motherhood differently, depending on genetics, biochemical makeup, family and social support, and history of trauma (including birth trauma).
My approach to treating mothers with postpartum mental health complications is to take a comprehensive look at all these factors. We’ll then formulate a plan that works best for you.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help challenge anxious thoughts that are often highly distressing to new moms. CBT is also useful for depression, as it enables you to recognize patterns – like when depression escalates or abates.
We’ll also use a feminist approach, looking at how our society has come to expect so much from mothers while giving them so little support.
We will work together to set realistic expectations for mothering, develop a support network, and consult with medical professionals if needed.
If you struggle to connect with your baby, exploring the relationship with your baby in session can be valuable. If you are more comfortable leaving your child with a caregiver, you are also welcome to enjoy this time alone.
You can experience motherhood differently.
But you’ll need some support, and that’s why I’m here.
I want this to be a convenient and enjoyable experience for you. Please feel free to bring your baby if you come to the office. You’re welcome to breastfeed, bottlefeed, or care for your baby in any way you need.
And if you need to be at home with your napping babies, we can arrange telehealth sessions.
Whatever you do, don’t spend another day wondering if you should get help.
Call today for a free 20-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit for each other: (720) 797-9828.